Personal Experiences with Eustress and What To Do with My Ambition?


Eustress, no matter how one can accurately define it. I would like to define it as euphoria-stress.

I was reminded of this feeling and word while reading an article comparing distress and eustress. During my Pre-U and University days, I often get excited whenever I see exam questions. The fact that I knew what the question was asking and my mind had already been churning out answers made my bowels excited. Yes, that’s not a good thing for someone who needs to go to the toilet whenever he is very excited. Bowels aside, I believe this is the feeling of eustress.

At work recently, I encountered delays with my IT Infrastructure setup like being given the wrong devices, human miscommunications, etc. While most people feel distress, I feel eustress. It’s the excitement of solving a challenge that made me positive about difficulties in life. When I first experienced my major academic failure at 17 years old (Cambridge ‘O’ Levels), I was lost, I have no backup plans, I have no vision. Thankfully, I got my feet back up and then got addicted with the satisfaction of achieving the less-possible.

Everything to me is solvable whether by time, by money, by finding help, or by being calm. The whole world wouldn’t stop or be destroyed because of the mistakes we face.

I am currently in the transition to a new job away from my government job. To be honest, government jobs are really more secure in terms of financial stability but slow in career/salary advancement. But, the ambitious me will never settle. One night, while thinking about my already-made resignation, I asked what am I trying to achieve by being ambitious? This is no longer in school where I have a clear path to obtain a college degree or a targeted Grade Point Average! Everything in the working world is undefined and no one can tell you sure ways.

It my ambition for glory? Money? Fame? What’s the point in pursuing all these? I told myself I want to leave a legacy. Legacy? How long will my legacy last? Even if it lasts centuries through place after my name or be mentioned in the textbooks, would people know it was me? Would people know who am I as a person?

We are all but just a breath on earth, a tiny fleeting speck in the universe. Stop thinking you are that important.

I am still searching where my ambition is leading me. However, I don’t want to leave a legacy, I want to make a difference right here right now when I am alive.

Be it making my love ones feel they are important and cherished, be it seeing my friends and their families grow old and have led a blissful life, or using my hard-earned money to help people around me, I want to be in the moment making a difference.

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